Another place, more faces

I am n tumblr, yo.

http://sarahssn.tumblr.com

Floating

My husband bought a boat this fall. He's in the process of purchasing a new motor for it. I keep thinking and looking forward to this summer, when we can go out on the river. Maybe it is a coping mechanism for me, because it's hard to say what our family will look like in 4 months. Still, it's something to look forward to.

Too much

Yesterday was the tipping point. I'm not sure if it was the mom's attitude, some of the choices that social services has made, or the miscommunication, but we erupted. 

I'm not sure if fostering is meant for working people. I understand the commitment to transporting the kids to various appointments, but 5 visits a week with the potential to add 2 more for one of the birth dads is too much. We are going to do it, because we love the kids, but the fallout is 2 tired, cranky and cracked out on processed food kids. Behavior has been awful. 

Here we are...

We are caring for Chickpea until our friends complete their process of being licensed. It is hard work but we have support. Ultimately we love our two girillas and hope to adopt them. It seems like in the 11th hour, after 9 months of lying about a pregnancy and not following the reunification plan, mom wants to be mommy of the year.

If the girls go back to mom, I plan on a bender, a motorcycle vacation to Canada, and then clean living and training for a tri. My heart can't stand this. I am not sure if I can foster again.

Oh and...

Baby number 3 is coming to us tonight. Gulp.

A call...and questions.

When you get a call asking if you'll take a placement, it feels easy to call back and say, "Sorry, we already have a sibling set and it isn't possible." When you do call back and learn it's the infant sibling of your very young foster kids, many things rush to the mind:

How can we say no? Practicality says no but your heart says yes.
If we don't take the baby, will they take our other little ones we have had for almost 9 months?
Why is this mom not using birth control?

Always so many questions...

Names

Confidentiality is key. I usually refer to the girls by their first initials but now I plan on referring to them as CLW and CB. This is mainly because they resemble Cindy Lou Who and Charlie Brown, respectively. My cartoon kids. Sometimes it seems surreal that we have two small kids. I cannot disclose anything that is happening with their case, but it's always on our minds. Will they be tpr'd? Will things end by next April, or drag on? 

My goal for the new year is to utilize respite so I can enjoy my husband again.